salam lebaran

tahun ni raya sangat menguji diri aku,nak kata sadis tu x la sgt...cuma sedih lah,mana x nya,dekat nak raya kerja bertimbun-timbun..mesin pun boleh jem weyh...tp itulah bos aku ni...lupakan pasai dia....raya tahun ni x berapa nak ceria sebab kami ada beli kereta proton persona elegance standard (A) kaler white,dia janji sebelum raya...so,kami pun dgn excited lah..last org finance tu ckp x sempat...kempunan lah aku,dah la aku dah dua tahun kempunan nak makan nasi arab kat bazar...x dapat2...cemana nak maka,parking asyik full ja...tu lah,moto x reti nak bawak(berlagak nek keta ja)..padan muka aku...tunggu punya tunggu keta baru,, wira aeroback 1.6 (A) rosak speedgear plak dah..kena rm1600.00 weyh..bankrap aku,tapi repiar jgk lah...pastu skrg aku dlm proses nak beli rumah...cerdik x kami?keta nama bakal suami aku,rumah nama aku..bkn pa,nak beli sorang sebijik keta pun mampu tapi nanti kawin jenuh garu pala banyak nak kena byaq..lagipun dia kata dia xkn p keja nek keta,rimas katanya...pastu tahun ni lak 1st time beraya dengan abg ipar..abg ipar aku ni india masuk islam..nama islam dia nawfal...sedap x?aku yg bagi sebab nak huruf "N" jugak kat pangkal mcm kaklong aku, Norin..abg ipaq aku ni lidah ngan perut melayu...kira nak makan nasi ja..dia balik kulim keja dia dok merap aku suruh masak...letih weyh sampai xdan nak berjalan sangat..tp xpalah sekali sekala kan,tahun depan aku lak bersuami,kena masak untuk suami aku n abg ipar yg aku konfirm depa dua ni kuat makan...

berserabut

My mind is totally a mess right now…I can’t think..There are so many pressure right now..from family, works, relationship, money…Sometimes I just feel like meaningless staying in this earth just to solve & face this kind of problems everyday…But of course I still yet not have that courage to commit suicide…I’m tired of all of these…..No point to live disappointed & depressed everyday right? But this is the word best described me cause’ every second my mood just remain ‘disappointed’..I don’t even know how long it’s been for me, not laughing or smiling sincerely..Yea I fake laugh everytime…Sometimes, too, I thought I have this kind of ‘various personalities’ mental disease in me, I sometimes spoke or sang to myself, just like an idiot…You may say I’m not being glad for what I have now, BUT, you don’t know the pain I’m experiencing NOW..I may be luckier than the others, but what I face now is truly enough to kill my ‘soul’..& I’m looking more & more haggard day by day…