berserabut

My mind is totally a mess right now…I can’t think..There are so many pressure right now..from family, works, relationship, money…Sometimes I just feel like meaningless staying in this earth just to solve & face this kind of problems everyday…But of course I still yet not have that courage to commit suicide…I’m tired of all of these…..No point to live disappointed & depressed everyday right? But this is the word best described me cause’ every second my mood just remain ‘disappointed’..I don’t even know how long it’s been for me, not laughing or smiling sincerely..Yea I fake laugh everytime…Sometimes, too, I thought I have this kind of ‘various personalities’ mental disease in me, I sometimes spoke or sang to myself, just like an idiot…You may say I’m not being glad for what I have now, BUT, you don’t know the pain I’m experiencing NOW..I may be luckier than the others, but what I face now is truly enough to kill my ‘soul’..& I’m looking more & more haggard day by day…